Last year for my birthday my sister got me the best present ever: a pair of black patent Dansko clogs.
My feet have rejoiced wearing these shoes. I suffer from plantar fasciitis (a fancy term for super painful arches in my feet) and these are about the only shoes I own that don’t bother my feet. In fact, there are days I come home from work and forget to take them off; they’re just that comfortable.
This happy feet story took a sad turn about six months ago. My wonderful Danskos began to squeak as I walked. At first I thought it was just the linoleum floor at work, but then I started to pay closer attention and realized that they squeak everywhere I walk. And, over time, the squeaking has become louder and louder. My coworkers began making subtle remarks about the shoes, then they started cracking jokes. One of them nailed it right on the head when he said I sound just like a duck quacking as I walk. It’s kind of like the duck on those annoying Aflac insurance commercials: “Aflac,” “Aflac,” with each step. And yet, I kept wearing the Danskos because I love them so.
Finally, however, the last straw: yesterday I was walking to the office and a man behind me called out, “Wow! Those are the loudest shoes I’ve ever heard!” You guys, I was walking outside, next to a busy street, beside a construction zone. Oh, the humiliation! But I oughta thank that guy because he motivated me to do something I’ve been meaning to do for months: I called Dansko. They must be familiar with the squeaking problem because the customer service representative told me to send them the shoes and they will send me a brand new pair. Joy, joy! The only problem is that she estimated it would take two weeks for the new Danskos to arrive. I guess that’s a small price to pay to silence the duck for good. Quack, quack!